So, I mentioned the other day that I’m currently working on exhausting my food supply. Tonight, as I was making dinner (Fettucine topped with store brand spaghetti sauce kicked up a notch with some about-to-shrivel green pepper and a freezer burned italian sausage from who-knows-when) I ran into the first of what I’m sure will be increasingly severe problems.
I was seriously craving some sweets (my default state, honestly) and nothing was readily available. But I realized I had some old cake mixes in the baking closet, so I grabbed a box of spice cake and was about to bust that puppy open when… damn. I realized the instructions called for three eggs. I opened the fridge and found that I had exactly three eggs. I knew it! The spice cake and I were meant to be!
Oh shit. It occurs to me that eventually, I’m going to run out of protein. Do I really want to hasten this process by throwing away my last three eggs on a spice cake?
Hell yes I do!
But wait. Is that wise? What if I run out of food?
Oh, seriously. It’s three friggin’ eggs. Are you honestly gonna freak out because you might starve to death one meal earlier?
Do you really want to run the risk?
Fuck yes! I might die, but I’ll die with cake in my belly! What better way to go!?
In the end, I managed to get my shit together and realize that those three sorry eggs would make a pretty good egg salad sandwich. And since two nights a week I have to eat supper in the car, a non-messy egg salad sandwich wrap would make a pretty good supper. So I made the right decision and put the cake mix away.
And you better believe I boiled those eggs right there and then, to save myself the temptation.