Up a Creek

Posted: February 10, 2012 by Sarge in Evacuation

So we’ve established some basics.  You gotta plan.  You might want some supplies.  A vehicle would be great.  You might have to go it on foot.

Well there are other options as well.  I thought about using a bicycle to move about.  At first this seemed like a great idea.  Then I realized that I pack like a Kardashian, so my bug out bag will probably be somewhat heavy and ungainly.  In other words, I’ll be ass over tea kettle if I try to ride off into the sunset on a bike.  So fuck that.  If you have a way to use a bike to get away, good for you.

I thought about horses, but they eat a lot, and I don’t have one anyway, so thats out.  Same with donkeys, mules, oxen, and whatever else.  I have a 70 pound dog.  A 3 year old might be able to ride her for about 6 feet before she removes them, then removes one of their limbs, just to be sure it doesn’t happen agian.  No livestock riding here.

A motorcycle could work to some degree, but if you dump it, you better hope you either die, or have enough life left in you to put a gun to your own head, because you might otherwise become a living feast for coyotes, wolves, ravens, zombies, or rats.  Gross and painful.  If you’re staying put in your home, the bicycle or the motorcycle could be good for scouting and searching, but I wouldn’t count on it for bugging out.

A wheelbarrow seems like a good idea, until you think about how frustrating they can be to drive if you’re not paying attention.  A childs sled would be great if its snowy on your way out, and you could even ride your sled/BOB on the downhills.  A hand cart could be really helpful, as long as you are able to travel on hardball roads.  A garden cart that could be easily modified to be pulled, or a wagon, would really increase your cargo capacity.  You could even build a harness so you dont need to pull it by hand.  Make sure that harness comes off easily though.  If you’re truckin’ your shit down the road, and a horde of hungry city dwellers comes at you, you wanna be able to haul the mail, without having to… well… haul the mail with you.

The only thing I came up with that I thought would be kinda awesome was the canoe/rowboat.  A rowboat is great at times, but not as portable, so I’ll concentrate on the canoe.  Canoes are lightweight, which makes them easy to get to and from the water.  They can carry two adults with gear comfortably, and you could probably put a kid or two in there.  Two canoes would make for a lot of potential.  You can also tie an inner tube to the back and toss a BOB onto it, further increasing your ability to haul your shit. If you’re using a canoe on a river, and it gets to shallow, its easy to get it out of the water, carry it past the shallows, and mount back up.

Travelling by water is nice, because a river will do all the work for your lazy ass, so you just have to figure out how to steer.  If you’re out in the water, its harder for the walking dead to get to you.  Swimming dead, you say?  You’re on your own at that point.  In addition, you can fish from a canoe.  This opens up a lot more fishing area if you’re on a pond or small lake.

There are some down sides to water travel.  First, its a one way street, unless you are one brawny badass paddler, at which point you probably quit reading this a while ago.  Second, you don’t hit forks in the river all that often.  Third, you WILL end up in some body of water too large for the canoe to handle.  I promise.  If you’ve never tried to paddle a canoe on a good sized, choppy lake, its not easy.

Shop around at garage sales, and on craigslist, and you might just score a cheap canoe.  Leave it upside down under the deck, or hang in from the garage rafters, and you’ve got a quick get away watercraft.  You may want to ensure you have a paddle or two, and I would recommend taking it for a test drive before you commit your survival to it, but a canoe can really diversify your travel equipment for a very low price.


P.S.  Keep Newton’s laws of physics in mind when entering, exiting, or standing in a canoe.  You’ll find out what I mean the first time you try out your new battleship, trust me.


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