Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

We’re Not Dead

Posted: December 3, 2012 by Barbie in Uncategorized
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Just a quick post to say we aren’t dead. We aren’t hidden out in an underground bunker because we know something you don’t know. We haven’t been detained by the feds either.
We’re just busy. And exhausted. In this economy, you gotta work longer hours for less pay. I think I mentioned one or a hundred times that I’m finishing a graduate degree. The Sarge is working and going to school. And the Boy Scout is either on a very long business trip, or just avoiding us.
I don’t think either Sarge or the Boy Scout realized how much damn work blogging can be. I have another blog elsewhere, so I had a pretty good idea what I was getting myself into and did it anyway.
We’re still prepping, we’re just not posting so much. I’m hoping that will change. My MBA journey is nearing a close. I’m only working 50 hours a week now, at least until early spring. I should be able to manage a post or two.
At the very least, I’ll try to throw up a link when I see a stellar deal on something you should be stockpiling.
Bear with us, we’re trying.

Shit I Never Thought I’d Eat

Posted: April 5, 2012 by Barbie in Uncategorized

So I arrived at work today to find a little bag of the nastiest looking stuff I’ve seen in a long time. A quick email confirmed the obvious, it was a “gift” from my Japanese friend Makky – a snack bag of iriko, or dried anchovies.
She writes “the ones I gave you are for SNACK, you eat them just how they are. If the smell is too much for you, you can put anything on them to cut the smell. My kids like them with soy sauce.”
Really? A snack? Where I come from, Doritos are a snack. An apple is a snack. M&M’s are a snack. Tiny sperm-like crunchy dried minnows are not a snack.
I plan to eat them at lunch. Or use them as bait. I haven’t decided yet.
What I do know is that 6 freaking AM is far too damn early to even look at something this grotesque.
Of course, when shit hits the fan, iriko is going to be looking mighty tasty…

Recoil Magazine

Posted: March 14, 2012 by Sarge in Uncategorized
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So I bought a magazine off the grocery story news stand.  I make a ritual of picking up 3 or 4 of my favorite titles every couple of months, and this month I branched out and bought a new one.  Recoil is advertised as a “Gun Lifestyle” magazine.  I figured I’d give it a shot.                                                                                        (pun intended)

Currently, I recieve American Rifleman magazine, which I enjoy, but which is my only firearms related magazine.  Recoil has already become the second.  They cover guns, but not hunting stuff.  They cover kill someone who tries to bother you guns.  Most of the firearms in the first issue were outside my price range, but they had nice writeups anyhow.  They also had two helpful Do-It-Yourself articles that were easy to follow and well written.  I don’t think I’ve ready a DIY firearm article anywhere else.  The one other article that stood out was a 25 questions answered about the AR-15.  It would be perfect for someone looking into buying their first AR, and would probably help a lot of people that already have them to better understand what their options are.

In addition to the guns and ammo coverage, they also reviewed some knives.  I believe a knife is the most valuable thing you can carry on your person, so I appreciated this.  The knives covered ranged from 50 or so dollars up past 200, which meant I could actually justify considering some of them.

Other articles included one on the ultimate Bug In house, that basically turns itself into a fortress, but opens up when you want to have a normal living space.  There was also an article on the “ultimate bug out ride”, which, while interesting, was WAY out of my price range.

If you like looking at cool pictures, and don’t mind shelling out 8 bucks for a magazine, check out Recoil.

http://www.recoilweb.com/

 

 

Sarge

Thank God I Bought All This Dog Food

Posted: March 13, 2012 by Barbie in Uncategorized

So, today at work, they told us everyone is to report to a brief all-company meeting on Thursday in the cafeteria.

I’m pretty sure I’m getting a pony!

How Many Bug Out Bags Do I Need?

Posted: February 22, 2012 by Sarge in Uncategorized

As I sat in my tenth meeting today at work (They seem to pay me to move from meeting to meeting.  I provide no input, and give no reports.  I don’t take notes either), writing down all the things that seemed like they would be useful in a bug out bag, I came to a realization.  I want to pack way too much into my bag.  Most people talk about a bug out bag being for 72 hrs., but what if it becomes everything you have forever?

In the event of a “localized disaster”, like a hurricane or wildfire, I need a bag that can sustain me for a few days or a week until I can get back to my property and begin to rebuild.  What happens if we get hit by nukes?  What if the zombies start showing up one town over?  If the bag on my back is all I have to start over somewhere else, I’m going to cram everything I might ever have considered to be in any way useful into every available pouch on the damn thing.  Then I’m going to tie shit to the frame, and carabiner shit to that.

So what solution is there?  Do I just pack light and hope to get through, pack heavy and discard stuff if need be, or pack two bags, and pick one based on the situation?  As it stands now, I’m going to pack one bag, with more than I would need for 72 hrs. afield.  I have a limited budget, so there is no way I can afford to prep two bags.

My goal will be to include the types of things that I would need to feed myself off the land, protect my well-being, and keep myself as warm and dry as possible.  I might have to ratchet strap my bag to get it small enough to fit out the door, but I figure it’s easier to get rid of extra shit than it is to add shit you don’t have.

 

Sarge

Ya’ll.
I finally had to call this little experiment of mine.  It’s not that I was out of food – on the contrary, I would have been good to go for another week or more.  I just couldn’t stand any more.  I hadn’t had a real fruit or vegetable in two weeks.  Sure, there had been tomato sauce on my tortellini, which fulfilled the nutritional requirement.  But it’s just not the same as eating a real tomato.  I needed a salad.  Bad.
So, today I was walking through the breakroom with my lunch bag full of chili and rice, and someone was peeling an orange.  I didn’t see it, but I could smell it. I almost started drooling.
I haven’t had an orange in over a month.  Usually, I eat a couple a day. The smell?  It was killing me.And I got to thinking, what if shit hits the fan on Thursday?  What if I never get the chance to eat another orange because I was too busy doing some dumbass experiment right before it all fell apart? 
Wouldn’t it suck if I spent the last of the time when I had access to more than beans and rice, EATING BEANS AND RICE?
So, on the way home from work, I went grocery shopping. 
Folks, it was a great project.  I’m glad I did it for a month.  I learned *so* much about myself, and what I need to store to get by.  I learned that I could eat chili every single day and not get tired of it.  I learned that I can eat a can of kidney beans, right out of the tin, and love every bite.  I also learned not to take an orange for granted.
Honestly?  I would encourage anyone to try this at home.  And then take what they learned and apply it, in their preps and otherwise. And then?  Live a little. Not a lot.  Don’t go blowing your savings on jetskis and champagne, just appreciate what you’ve got. The world as we know it may not last.  Enjoy it.  Because when it’s all over, there will be plenty of time to eat beans and rice.

Watch Out For The Earache Pandemic

Posted: February 15, 2012 by Barbie in Uncategorized
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So, I realize the connection here to prepping is sketchy at best, but I’m feeling a bit rant-y, so you’ll have to bear with me.
For the past three Mondays in a row, one of my coworkers has called in sick. Do you want to take any guesses as to who ends up taking care of his work while he’s out?
Yep.
Anyway, this past Monday my manager informed me that this guy (we’ll call him Brian) had called in with an earache, so I’d need to figure out what he was working on and make sure everything that needed to be done got done.  At least, I think that’s what he said.  I didn’t hear anything beyond earache, so I’m kind of fuzzy on the rest of the sentence.
Seriously?  He called in for an earache.  Am I the only one who sees something wrong here?
I don’t consider myself to be particularly tough.  In fact, I’m kind of a candyass.  But I have never, ever, missed work because I had a freakin’ earache.  A day of kindergarten?  Possibly.  But work?  Hell no!  In fact, I have a very limited list of things I’d miss work over.  Ready?
Barbie’s List of Reasons To Miss Work
1.  Vomiting more than once.  
2.  Diarrhea of a severity where I’m concerned I might have “an accident.”
3.  Bronchitis or Pneumonia if accompanied by a fever over 100 degrees.
4.  An excellent shoe sale at Nordstrom’s
On second thought, any respectable girl would know about that last one weeks in advance – plenty of time to schedule a vacation day.  I wouldn’t call in sick over it (plus, I can get to Nordstrom.com from my cube).
My point?  Primarily I needed to vent about my whiny-ass coworker.
But also?  If you have to call in sick over an earache, you’re gonna be screwed when the pandemic hits.  When the CDC boards up your house and keeps you in quarantine, nobody’s gonna be there to bring you Gatorade and Saltines. You’re going to have to man up and take care of yourself. 
So really?  Buck up, little cowboy.  Take some Children’s Tylenol, call your pediatrician, and then man up and COME TO FUCKING WORK!
The economy is counting on you.

My paracord dog leash- Part One

Posted: February 13, 2012 by Sarge in Uncategorized

I am by no means  an artist.  I’m no craftsman either (though I do have a Craftsman Club card somewhere).  I undertook this simple project becuase I thought it would be cool, and it could be useful.  I took lots of pictures, and will do my best to explain my process and my rationale.  If you don’t yet own a spool of paracord, shame on you.  For 40 bucks you can get 1000 ft. of cord rated at 550 lbs.  It’s lightweight, strong, and durable.  I have used it to fix everything from military trucks to shoes.  Making a leash with it allows me to make a useful and compact item that can be expanded into a decent length of cord in an emergency.

Okay, anyhow, on to the project.  I started with about 70 ft. of cord, knowing that extra can always be cut off and saved for other things.  I purchased a clip for the end I will attach to the dogs collar.  For the ‘handle’ end, I chose to use two pieces of hardward.  This increases the usefulness of the leash should I need to take it apart in an emergency.  At the very end of the woven strap, I used a welded steel ring that is rated for about 120 lbs.  Part way down the strap, I attached in a quick link, rated for about 800 lbs.  In addition to the equipment in the leash, I also had about 5 feet of balsa wood sticks.  You will need something like this, but it could be dowels, pens and pencils, or chopsticks if you’re in Japan or some shit.

Step one:  Cut a length of paracord.

Step two:  Tie the clip to the end of the paracord.

I used a buntline hitch to tie it on, although I ended up undoing it later on.  Go figure.  (Yeah, I had to look up a buntline hitch too.  I have both a knot tying phone app and a knot tying book)

Step three:  Run the cord back and forth between the clip and the welded ring a couple of times.  It will turn out better if you make sure that it always enters on one side and leaves on the other side of the loops.  You can run it back and forth as many times as you want.  With each pass you will make your leash wider, and add to the amount of paracord it includes.

I made three complete loops, giving me six individual lines.  Once you’re done making the loops, pull them apart until the leash is the length you want.  Keep in mind that it will end up six or so inches shorter than it starts, because you have to fold the last 6 inches over to create the ‘handle’ loop.

Step four:  Begin weaving.  This is where the sticks come in.  You could simply weave the end of paracord back and forth on itself, but this will be very time consuming to take apart when you actually need it.  If you use my method, and tuck loops through, they will pull out much more quickly when you’re in a bad situation.  Keep in mind, emergencies are just that, and you want your survivial shit now, not in 15 minutes.

Every time you weave a loop through the lines, throw the end around your stick.

 

 

You Might Be Batshit Crazy If…

Posted: January 31, 2012 by Barbie in Uncategorized
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I can’t claim any of these are mine, they call come from a thread over at Survivalist Boards entitled “You Might Be a Survivalist/Prepper If…”

However, they’re so fuckin’ funny, I had to share them.

“The kids still think the cat I ‘rescued’ is a pet and not a potential food source.”   The Saint

“The letters S, H, T & F are worn off of your computer keyboard.”  SgtBooker44

“Walmart calls to let me know the 5 gal. buckets are in stock again.”  electrdave

“Your BOV has a dirtbike mounted to it that has a mountain bike mounted to it”  cyclopath

“Hoppe’s #9 is [your] aftershave”  ScottyGunn

“Your shopping lists have numbers, like .22, .308, or .357” naturegirlmia

“You have a tactical piercing” Crutch

“You dream about a bugout submarine” davissp2

“You have at least 20 other funny comments, but can’t break OPSEC to share them.” Sylens
I hope that gave you a good laugh – follow the link for the full thread – it’s up to 47 pages and counting!

Get this: So I’m drinking a beer, making a list of shit I’ll need to survive and I have this moment of genius delusional paranoia in which I create this Decision Flow Chart:

I’m telling you, this MBA is PAYING FOR ITSELF!!!

Anyway.

So the basic idea here (as if you can’t read a friggin’ flow chart) is that you want to be ready for any shit that could possibly go down. The way I see it, there’s three different scenarios you could have on your hands:

Long term shelter in place: This is your stockpile. What would you need if you had to fend for yourself in your home for months or years? Food, water, ammunition, heating fuel… Basically you want to turn your house into a cold war style shelter, complete with cans of stale Saltines.

Evacuation on foot. This is where you’ll want a bug out bag (or go bag).This is a backpack loaded with supplies that you can carry with you. You should have one for each member of the family – even a three year old can carry a change of clothes or a blanket.

Evacuation in a vehicle. You’ll want prepacked boxes (or suitcases) of provisions in case it takes you a long time to get to your destination. Think Oregon Trail.

A note on vehicular evacuation:You’ll always want to supplement this with your bug out bags in case you’re forced to abandon your vehicle and hoof it.

You’ve also gotta consider the exacerbating circumstances you could encounter. Does your survival stockpile account for the fact that you may not have power for cooking? Are you equipped to defend your family from looters during an evacuation?  Do you have the supplies and training you would need to administer first aid?
Sam Adams may have helped me write this post, but I maintain that the advice is valid.