Posts Tagged ‘rants’

Why We Should Arm The Girl Scouts

Posted: March 5, 2012 by Barbie in Weapons and Tools
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Did ya’ll see this shit?
In Fort Bend, Texas some sorry motherfucker snatched a cash box from a bunch of Girl Scouts selling cookies outside the Wal-Mart.
Two badass little girls from the troop ran him down in the parking lot and started punching the shit out of him.
Despite their ballsy attempt to recover the cash box, the thief got away and the scouts are out $200, which they’ll have to pay back to the cookie company. Worse, one of the girls sustained minor injuries when the asshole drove away, dragging her behind the car.
What kind of sick fuck steals money from Girl Scouts?
This? Is why we should arm the Girl Scouts. At the very least, provide them with pepper spray. Imagine what a shock the bastard would have gotten when he got hit in the face with a shot of aerosol-propelled capsaicin.
It would have been epic.
I’m so proud of those little girls for going after the thief, even if it was a dangerous and foolish thing to do. That took some serious balls (and a healthy dose of naivete). I can only hope that after learning the hard lesson that some people are pieces of shit, they’ll apply it in a positive way and eventually learn to protect themselves.
And that they’ll eventually decide to carry.
An armed society is a polite society.

Watch Out For The Earache Pandemic

Posted: February 15, 2012 by Barbie in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

So, I realize the connection here to prepping is sketchy at best, but I’m feeling a bit rant-y, so you’ll have to bear with me.
For the past three Mondays in a row, one of my coworkers has called in sick. Do you want to take any guesses as to who ends up taking care of his work while he’s out?
Yep.
Anyway, this past Monday my manager informed me that this guy (we’ll call him Brian) had called in with an earache, so I’d need to figure out what he was working on and make sure everything that needed to be done got done.  At least, I think that’s what he said.  I didn’t hear anything beyond earache, so I’m kind of fuzzy on the rest of the sentence.
Seriously?  He called in for an earache.  Am I the only one who sees something wrong here?
I don’t consider myself to be particularly tough.  In fact, I’m kind of a candyass.  But I have never, ever, missed work because I had a freakin’ earache.  A day of kindergarten?  Possibly.  But work?  Hell no!  In fact, I have a very limited list of things I’d miss work over.  Ready?
Barbie’s List of Reasons To Miss Work
1.  Vomiting more than once.  
2.  Diarrhea of a severity where I’m concerned I might have “an accident.”
3.  Bronchitis or Pneumonia if accompanied by a fever over 100 degrees.
4.  An excellent shoe sale at Nordstrom’s
On second thought, any respectable girl would know about that last one weeks in advance – plenty of time to schedule a vacation day.  I wouldn’t call in sick over it (plus, I can get to Nordstrom.com from my cube).
My point?  Primarily I needed to vent about my whiny-ass coworker.
But also?  If you have to call in sick over an earache, you’re gonna be screwed when the pandemic hits.  When the CDC boards up your house and keeps you in quarantine, nobody’s gonna be there to bring you Gatorade and Saltines. You’re going to have to man up and take care of yourself. 
So really?  Buck up, little cowboy.  Take some Children’s Tylenol, call your pediatrician, and then man up and COME TO FUCKING WORK!
The economy is counting on you.