Posts Tagged ‘zombies’

Mad Max and the tornado chasers

Posted: January 24, 2012 by Sarge in Uncategorized
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Ever watch those storm chaser shows where science nerds chase storms to try to take readings?  They suck.  I used to watch, but lets be honest with ourselves, these people are terrible at what they do.  We could go into the fact that they never get their probes into the storm, but the important part is WHY they never seem to be successful.  They drive pieces of SHIT.  Some of them are just clapped out old trucks, and some of them are special, custom built, “Storm Chasing Tanks”.  Chasing is accurate, because they never catch any storms, because their equipment breaks down, or gets stuck in the grass on the side of the road, or whatever.

There is a point here.  Gonna set up the ultimate Mad Max bug out vehicle, with gun mounts on the roof and push bars and huge tires and 850 horsepower?  I’ll wave on the way past.  First off, have you ever tried to shoot something?  How about something thats moving?  How about when you’re also moving?  How about when its moving, and you’re moving, in the back of a vehicle, driven by your husband, or wife, or 12 year old daughter, who is in a panic, because the world is ending, and you’re trying to shoot someone, or something?  Skip the gun mounts Rambo.  Want huge power, and huge tires?  With big power comes big failures.  I’m not talking about needing a tuneup, I’m talking about grenading your rear end and rolling to a stop on the side of the road.  Zombies love to eat these people, by the way.

So what kind of vehicle to build?  Who knows.  Does it start when you turn the key?  Good start.  Does it get you down the road without sweating all the shit thats about to fail?  I’d say you’re well on your way.  4 wheel drive is nice, but a good set of tires with decent tread is more important.  Some storage space is good too, but so is being able to drive more than 18 miles before you hit the gas station.  We all love power, but lets be honest, you’re gonna be pouring whatever “fuel” you could siphon out of other peoples broken shit, so lets not commit to something that needs 93 octane just to idle correctly.

Maybe I’ll introduce you to my escape machine sometime down the road, if we’re all still here…